Thursday, October 11, 2012
If there were a game show called "What If..." where they gave a dose of adrenaline plus worry tonic than proceeded to give life scenarios asking me to take control of the situation using "what if's" and see how crazy it could get, I would win every time - I would be a multimillionaire - they would call me back to compete against the best because it would be unbelievable!
I've been thinking about Faithfulness.
Sticking it out.
Never giving up.
Am I good at that? To answer honestly- no.
But I do know for sure , God is always faithful!
When I am obsessing about something.Holding something so tightly in my grip because I fear that if I let go,if I leave it in anyone's (even God's) hand something is going to go wrong-not as I would want to see it play out.
That is when I begin -
I play "what if... "
God has been speaking to me lately about HIS faithfulness. I keep hearing him say "Caroline, I am not walking away.I am not leaving you out to dry."
There is no situation that God will say "I drew this line,you stepped over it, I can't meet you there."
When I start to go around in circles in my mind, when I play that game I have to take a step back,breathe and ask myself -"What if that actually happened, would God still be there?" I always have to know the big fat resounding answer is always ,always YES!
God is so incredibly patient with me.I feel as though there are times he reaches out his hand accepts what I have surrendered to him only to have me turn around and try to grab it back again.
You know what? He remains.He doesn't walk away shaking his head ,giving up on me.
When I close my eyes and visualize this scene I see my God not only opening his hand to take what I have to surrender but opening both his arms folding me into his chest and smiling over me.
He knows He's got it all under control.
He knows that there is hope for me.
I can squirm out of his hold just enough to look up into his eyes and return that smile- because I know it too-
it just takes me longer.